Singer Bruno Mars says he still doesn’t know how to deal with his mother’s death even three years after she passed away.

The “Count on Me” hitmaker lost his mother Bernadette San Pedro Bayot in June 2013 to a brain aneurysm. He says her death blindsided him, reports rollingstone.com.

“To this day, I don’t know how to handle it. That piece of your heart is just gone forever. I don’t even know how to talk about it with you. It’s a nightmare. It’s literally a nightmare,” he said.

The 31-year-old singer says he was glad his mother never suffered, but he found it hard to comprehend what had happened.

“If anything, she was getting younger. I’d just bought her this house in Hawaii, and she would call me almost every day to tell me how much fun she’s having, she and the grand-children are in the pool, running around in the yard.”

“I didn’t have to go through my mother suffering in the hospital for years. But it’s like – she was just bugging me about something … That was the hardest part. That was the spike in the heart,” Bruno Mars said.

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